April 17, 2025
Today was my port placement day. What's a port? It's a little device that they implant into my collar bone area that allows for the weekly chemo treatments. This is instead of them having to stick my arm all the time for an iv tap. (Images were plucked from the internet.)
This is basically what the port looks like. Brands vary so some may be larger, different colors, etc.
This is how the port is used for treatment.
So, port placement day. Nothing to eat or drink past midnight. Tracey takes me to this one. Appointment time is 8:00am. It's only supposed to take 45 min. Conscious sedation out-patient procedure. No problem, right?
They take me back to the prep room while Tracey waits in the waiting room. The typical undress from the top down, put on the gown, answer the routine questions. The IV.... I'm not sure where this chick learned how to do an IV, but it should NOT hurt the way it did. Insert the F word. Now my arm is throbbing. They bring Tracey back to sit with me while we wait. The doctor comes in quickly and explains the port. He was in and out so fast I couldn't tell you what he looked like. Nice fella tho. The nurses offer to change the TV channel, turn up the volume, etc... I'm not here to watch TV, let's get this show on the road...Tracey can tell my patience is about gone at this point. They finally tell her she can wait in the waiting room until after the procedure. Then she can come back for the 15-20 minute after procedure nonsense. They take me back to the procedure room.
In the procedure room things get ugly.
They wheel me in, jack up the bed to 8 feet off the ground. Then they tell me to "scoot" to the procedure table. Now I have to sit up without the use of railings (back story, rods and pins in my back makes this a challenging task) and scoot to the table, again without railings. And I'm wearing a hospital gown that does not move with you. Then they fuss and tell me not to wiggle since I'm so far off the ground. Assuming I'm supposed to levitate from the bed to the table??? I finally get onto the table and they tell me to lay down, again, no railings, back does not curve or bend.. you get the picture.
The nursing staff is getting an attitude, I'm hangry... people get cussed out.
Once I'm laid down flat with my head facing the left as directed, I'm basically immobile as my arms are in some weird feeling things that I can't see. Then, out of nowhere material covers my entire face. Fact about Kira - Kira can NOT have anything covering her face. Instant panic attack. In my panic I somehow managed to uncover part of my face. Relief. Then they come at with the the nose cannula. Whatever. Then it begins to hurt my nose, not the tubing itself, but the force the air is blowing out. Literally hurting. I snort my nose enough to get the side that hurts out. Relief again. Doctor does his thing with implanting the port. No problem.
Then it's reverse getting from the table to the bed. Same issues. Same attitude from the staff. Same cussing out from me. Then, out of nowhere, my fairy god-mother must have swooped in because this nurse that I don't recall being there before is magically there, helping me get from the table to the bed, barking at the others, telling them she understands what I talking about because her husband has rods and pins in his back, and then magically disappeared once I was on the bed. Bless her.
Once they wheel me back to the prep area and park my bed, I'm off it faster than they can close the curtain. I proceed to get dressed, remove the blood pressure cuff and oxygen monitor and was about to remove my IV when the nurse appeared and took care of that. She asked if I was ok, I said I'm ready to go the hell home. Then another staff member came in to go over discharge papers. I grabbed the paperwork and told her I was capable of reading and walked out. She followed. In the waiting room, Tracey saw me, my expression and grabbed our stuff and we headed to the truck. Staff lady actually followed me all the way to the truck.
I give Tracey the rundown of what happened... not to mention a 45 min appt was 3 hours... she's hangry, I'm hangry... next stop.. McDonald's.
I will say during my nightly prayers, I did apologize for cussing the staff out. I should have held my composure.
Comments
Post a Comment