Kira's Stupid Breast Cancer

Yes, I'm writing on Christmas Day... It's hard this year without the normal traditions and it really feeling like just another day.  I've tried really hard this year to be in the spirit... I did some baking, shopping and even dressed in festive attire throughout the month. Unfortunately, the baking was by myself, shopping was either online or around town by myself. Christian, Sam and Ashli came over last evening and we did Christmas with them since this is their first Christmas in their new home. Non-traditional supper - spaghetti. Other than them opening gifts, it really didn't feel like Christmas, just a night of hanging out with them. I'm grateful for that time, don't get me wrong, just didn't feel Christmas-y.  Our other kids are not local to us and are spending the holiday with other family. I know they're all grown and have other families, it's just hard... and without my folks, especially my mom, as she was the one who "did up" Chris...

 Another trip to VCU... My appointment for the 17th was for physical therapy evaluation and another fill. Luckily I didn't need to keep the fill appointment because they completed my fills at the last appointment. The downside was that there wasn't an opening on Thursday for PT, so I got a room at a nearby hotel. My PT appointment was at 11 so I didn't even have to get up in the middle of the night to drive. 😁 They only have 2 therapists that specialize in the specific rehab I need (mastectomy patients). The therapist was nice. We went over the exercise guide and determined it really needed to be re-written as it was geared more for shoulder rehab. Reason being was that there were exercises listed that physically I couldn't do because of the expanders and not being able to lay flat. No big deal tho, together we came up with work-arounds so I could still achieve the movements. From where I've been doing "stuff" on my own at home, I'd like to think it s...

 Today I had a telephone visit with the VCU Radiation Oncologist. He went over my pathology report again just so that I would understand what he was about to say. Due to there still being a 5 mm mass left at the time of surgery and the fact that my Rotter's Nodes were highlighted on the first MRI, he recommends that I do radiation. The treatment would be 5 days a week for 5 weeks. The purpose being to target any potential microscopic cancer cells that may be left floating around.... Do they know if there are any microscopic cancer cells left? No. Do they know if there aren't any left? No. This would be a "just in case" treatment.  There would be no guarantees that the cancer would not return even with radiation treatments. Radiation comes with it's own share of side effects. He said that my fills would need to be undone for radiation to take place. Radiation therapy would also mean putting off the post-op "keep it from coming back" chemo meds as well as ...

Recovery has been interesting. Can't lift more than 5 pounds, can't reach up very high, have to sleep on a wedge pillow or an incline, on my back, have to wear the surgical bra or sports bra constantly.....  I started showering by myself a few weeks back and even though I can't raise my arms very high, I figured out that I can tilt my head to each side and wash my hair that way. That made a world of difference!! Miss Independent couldn't bathe herself and now can! Big moral booster!  I've even gotten better about dressing myself - the bottom half wasn't an issue but putting on shirts was a challenge unless it was a button-up. We're into the colder temps now so that means long sleeve shirts and sweatshirts.... at this point about half of the time I need help.  I ordered some front clasping bras so that I can change up my wardrobe some - the surgical one came up very high on my chest and, well, was pepto pink.... easily seen thru lighter colored tops.  I'v...